Sunday, December 4, 2011

Untitle Poem...About Twin Flames

Here's a poem I wrote last year. Hope you enjoy it. *grin*

A long time ago in the darkness of my mind, you dwelled
A bright light to guard me from the nightmares
A figment to some, non-existence to others, my soul
You were my protector, my love, my other half

Even when I locked you away, in a box you did not stay
Your refusal to be bound and hid away showed me your love
A startled moment when you were there,
My knight to halt my hand and stay my motions
You wrapped me in your arms and whispered you lived

To search for you I did, but nothing I found
Alone in the world I traveled, half a heart and soul
Only surviving was I doing, living I was not

Murmurs of something that could be, haunted me
Pressing the limits of my mortality, I did to end the pain
Yet you still held and protected me
For death would not even have me

I created a character of you, to save my sanity
But still you haunted my dreams
You were not real in the world I lived, just in my mind
To stave off the demons of terrors
The child I was imagined you to fight my battles
Because I was tired

My protector and comforter, but real you were not
Heart sick and my soul ached,
I moved through this life I called mine, but you weren’t there
A dual life I led, straddling two worlds, I dwelled
Was I losing my mind? Because I could feel you, yet you weren’t there
Never in the light of day did you kiss me, only in the dark
Am I going crazy? Because I knew you, yet I couldn’t find you

I would sleep and find you there, hear your voice, feel your touch, I was whole
But I would awake to an emptiness I was used too, friends with and you were gone

Again I locked you away, I had to, to live, to move forward
Again you rebelled, your freedom you demanded
My compliance, you coaxed, I gave you my dreams and nights to roam
And to claim me as yours
But my days were lonely, filled with a sadness I was accustomed to
My burden, my punishment

Songs from my favorite band tormented me,
But I wed another, this was my life
A connection so profound I knew it was real,
But fear kept me locked in a mold
Do what was right and give everyone my all,
But ignore what I wanted and needed to survive
The terror ran deep, a sense of mourning, I wished to die
But again death laughed in my face
This was my hell, my punishment for transgressions I do not recall,

I accept as my due
For I am not worthy to have you
You are only given what the gods know you can handle
Yet the agony tears through me, but release is not in the making for me
Because I denied you, your claiming of me
This is my life, my hell, my due

I let you comfort me when I was beaten and broken but only for a minute
I deserved the pain, I wanted to drown out the agony of being empty,
Of not being accepted
Once again Lady Death laughed at my pleas
Are you staying her hand, my love?
Do you enjoy my suffering?
Do you wish for more?

Again I forged ahead, rebuilding myself and turning colder
I knew you lived, because I could feel your life force, but I didn’t care
Beaten into submission, forced to redefine myself,
I ignored you, enraged I was now
You did not exist! I was no longer searching for you,
Loneliness was in my soul
A companion no one could take away, for they feared me
And I didn’t mind

Years passed by, my sadness deep in my bones
No smile lit my eyes, only graced my lips
I was an actress, a pretender that was perfect
Love my children, I did, gave my life for them, I did,
A promise made not to be broken
I traded my life and happiness for theirs
The innocents in my quest for my soul

Again you broke the confines I locked around you
Tormenting me day and night, living dreams
You upped the ante and gave me no time to re-group and rebuild my walls
The assault you conducted tore at my mind and emotions,
I had finally lost touch with reality

The future was where you existed, another life we would have together,
It eased the pain
I wasn’t crazy, just feeling a connection to my next life
That was acceptable

Then a single conversation set into motion events that caress me now
I feel you and know you, you live, are real in this life
The emptiness is gone as is the sadness
A complete wholeness fills the once emptiness I lived with all my life

Now I am the one in confines,
For the choices I made and sacrifices I allowed
I fight daily what my mind says and my soul demands
Neither are happy
But I will straddle the two as long as you allow

I tried to keep you away, knowing the pain I would inflict,
But you did not listen or hear
Alpha is who you are, exactly the way I saw you,
The way I knew you to be
Not with others, only with me
Because I am yours

You don’t let me step back and shut you out
You won’t let me protect you, as you protect me
You take a beating and let me live
Am I really worth the pain and agony you feel?

I cannot stop who I have been forever
But you laugh and accept the fight I put up
Even the unplanned ones
You stand there, my rock, my hunter, my alpha, my soul
Stepping back, you refuse,
No matter how hard I push, you stay in front of me
My shield, my heart, my lover, my other half
You promise not to let me fall,
That you will catch me and hold me tight
I can hear your heart pound against my ear,
You do live, just like you whispered
I am whole now and accepted unconditionally

This emotion so profound ‘love’ just does not fit
Because the feeling is so much more
You are a part of me, you are me
There is no me without you and you without me
We are one in the same
We are one

I am yours and you are mine
Only the physical branding is left
Years ago I married my soul, it was right
I will hold you tight and fight to keep you
Even as I battle myself to set you free

We are a matched pair, you and I,
The joker and his lady
That is us

It won’t be easy, the tears and pain will be there
But for as long as I breathe in this life I belong to you,
Body, heart and soul

You are my true mate, soul mate, life mate
Matched by the gods, divinely united
Into eternity and beyond….
Twin Flames…Twin Souls…

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Preparing for Thanksgiving Day

As of this moment I'm supposed to be putting together the pies and treats my family looks forward to on the coming holiday. *grin* Instead I'm sitting here typing away on a blog post. *laugh* See what happens when you mix a writer with a person who detests cooking? You get a procrastinator of my proportions. I will of course eventually step away from these keys to do my duty and prep the food for tomorrow, until then I'll sit here and tick away about nothing in particular. *smirk*
I've gotten some good feedback concerning Twin Flames: Soul Memory so fingers crossed on that one. *wink* However, the rewriting older ones has stalled at the moment. *grin* Sorry, getting sidetracked is a favorite past time of mine. I will get back to them...I hope! *laugh*

Nickolai and Tarrinaysa...those two are running rampant in my mind again as their story only got so far last year and STOPPED! Talk about cheerfully strangling them is an understatment of epic proportions. *groan* But since they are the beginning of all that I have created it seems they are -once again- tickling my imagination. So I've stopped by their story -Immortal Choice- and started taking a small peek around. When dealing with TWO deities like them it's not an easy thing...juat sayin'. I think I may have found the solution to their bickering and my writers block -concerning them anyway. *smirk* I'll go back and take it the route it was supposed to originally. Before I got the feedback that did nothing for my writing and everything for why I should stop and never try to write again. *chuckle* Seriously, I am taking back the original and putting it back in the order as to which it was created to start. Nickolai and Tarrinaysa's soul bond was supposed to bring about the matching of other Twin Flames. That's the myth I created for them. So that's what I'm going back to. It'll take some time and prep on my part -as the original is lost to the recycle bin years ago- but I have all the notes in my mind. Thankfully that part doesn't have a recycle bin, or I'd be a screwed writer! *laugh* Eventually I'll have their tale told and they can spend the rest of their immortals lives tormenting each other and having wild crazy sex. *rolls eyes* THAT seems to be the only area of their relationship that DOESN'T need work! *snicker*

So, now it's time for me to be a good adult and start on those pies and other treats everyone enjoys. I'm sure this won't be the last time I sit here today and chatter away about nothing interesting. But it gives me a moment of peace with the words that refuse to stop even when you have the day booked and none of it has to do with writing! *laugh*

Have a great holiday everyone!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Name Changes

A friend of mine said I come up with the most interesting and uncommon names. Even if she has trouble pronouncing them, she says. Honestly? Commonly known and used names aren’t a fave of mine. Actually, I detest using common names for any of my characters. Which for Joy and Jay is insane, because here are to so commonly used names it’s funny, and those are the names of my two characters.
The story behind Jay and Joy’s names…when I started Twin Flames: Soul Bound earlier this year it was to be a short 7000 word entry for a contest. I just wanted to write it that was all. And the main characters were fashioned after two real life people. So I took the first two letters of their names -birth names- and went with it. A lot of times I’ll rewrite a story twice -to as many as ten times- because the names aren’t right. Whether it’s the heroine’s name or the hero’s, names will stop my story telling ability in its tracks. When that happens I dig out the baby name books -yes, I have like six different ones as well as list from the internet and jotted down names that I’ve heard somewhere but they aren’t in the books or on line- and start my search. Once a name catches my eye I add it in to the space left behind by its previous owner and start reading. If it works I’m off and running. If not *sigh* back to the books and lists to find another one. More often than not my problem only runs into either the male or female characters, not both. Only once has it been both main characters -which killed the manuscript halfway through- as of this posting. *grin*
Recently I had to change ‘Jay’s’ name to his birth name. Because -I guess- readers aren’t fans of names being so close…aka Jay and Joy…confusing…only one letter different. Funny thing about that? The only time I’ve done names that close are when dealing with twins and even then it’s not when they are together in a story. *laugh* I won’t name names but it was my content editor that brought it to my attention. Now, not too long ago I was told -by other writers- not to pick names that were hard to pronounce. I have to laugh at it, because I chose ‘Jay’s’ name for the strict purpose of avoiding having to change it. *snicker*And I ended up having to change it anyway. I am SO glad I give each of my character’s two names. *laugh* To me it makes them more real life. I don’t go by my birth name and most of my friend don’t either. Hell, I bet some -again I won’t name names- hate the ones they were given at birth so prefer nicknames. *grin* I know many who aren’t a fan of the name their parents bestowed upon them.
I am so glad I give my characters a birth name as well as a nickname.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Couples: Jay and Joy & Tarrinaysa & Nickolai

Hello everyone. *waves* Since I’m horrible when it comes to talking about myself I’ll talk about my characters. Hopefully you will eventually meet them all in their own stories. Some have been written already while others are in the works and still some are just ideas flittering around in my cluttered brain. *laugh*
First off…
Jay and Joy, my first ones -Twin Flames: Soul Bound- with a contract through MuseItUp Publishing. Jay Silverthrone is an Alpha male for only one female and that’s his divine mate Joy Lyons-Morgan. Jay is a tattoo artist and a hybrid from the island country of Calanthia (another one of my creations). Yes, he can change his forms into those of animals, four to be exact. One is the extinct Dire-Wolf the other three are of the feline variety, a black panther, Siberian tiger and a cougar respectively. He’s a quiet man and hard to get to know. Only a select few have the opportunity to be counted as his close friends and those are of his siblings and a couple friends he grew up with. He’s stubborn when something -someone- has his interest and they are spending too much time thinking things over. He is also very loyal to those of whom he calls friend. Normally he jumps right in with both before fully contemplating if the choice is a good one or not, until he hears Joy’s voice on the other end of the phone. Then the cool confident male he’s always been vanishes which leaves him strumbling around in the uncharted territory of Twin Flames. Joy Lyons-Morgan is an Alpha female who will only ever submit to one male and that’s her divine match Jay Silverthorne. She’s a waitress at a local club with dreams of opening her own dance club. She’s lived her life in the vastness in the state of Wyoming. She is a hybrid of a different variety in a family of non-shifting mortals. It’s a secret she fears being found out. Her entire life has been spent in the shadows of her true identity all while pretending to be someone she’s not for the sake of safety. She’s an outgoing extrovert who keeps everyone at arms’ length for her protection as well as her own sanity. Only a couple have ever been allowed close enough to her to know what she’s thinking and believes. She’s stubborn and cautious when it comes to decisions being made. Cool and collected when it pertains to emotions, control is her thing. Not over people but over herself. Mastery is what keeps the animals at bay and locks her to the non-shifting human world. However, all that changes when Jay whispers her name across the phone lines. Leaving her to wonder and try to figure things out without a manual as a guide.
This couple has three books dedicated to their Twin Flame relationship, a present, past and future. Since Soul Bound is their present, the others fall in line from there. Soul Memory is their past and the third one -is still unnamed as of yet- is their future.
Tarrinaysa and Nickolai are the very, VERY first -and oldest- of my creations. They’ve been fluttering around in my creative mind for YEARS. I put the emphasis on ‘very’ and ‘years’ because they’ve been there from the first moment I started telling stories to my younger siblings and cousins. They are the basis of the -monster- series I’ve created. Without them there is nothing for the others to follow. Tarrinaysa D’Orian is a Fey Princess who becomes the Immortal Fey Queen and eventually the Living Goddess. A deity of ancient times her pantheon is so old all others followed in their lead. She carries three souls, giving her a duality others don’t have. The dormant soul of a God-Killer, the ancient soul of a goddess -Tarrynaysa Ambrozia, the Ancient Goddess of Life, the Beginning and Ending- and finally the new young soul she was born with making her a member of The First Ones -the Fey- created to populate the Earth.  In modern times she’s known as Tarrin Dorian, billionaire who owns and operates exclusive dance clubs around the world. She’s been a Fey War Lord and brought entire countries to their knees and the brink of extinction by her sword and now she’s a fashionista with the proper decorum that irkes the rulers of the world. She doesn’t bend to anyone…even the one who divinely matches her in every way. Nickolai D’Lyons was born Wolf Hunter the destined divine mate of Tarrinaysa who by her blood becomes the Delphian Prince of legend and myth. He too carries the souls of three beings in his form. One the dormant soul of a God-Killer another the ancient soul of a god -Teran Ambroze, the Ancient God of Life, the Beginning and Ending- and finally the young soul he was born with making him a member of the Fey-kin. In modern times he’s known as Nickolai D’Lyons, a force to be reckoned with when it comes to native people’s rights and protection. By his youthful arrogant words he turned his back on Tarrinaysa and wed not one but two human females and set into motion events that still haunt Tarrinaysa almost eleven thousand years later. The second human-bride utter a damnation that ‘all who carry the blood of the hunter of the wolf shall never remain in human form’, creating The Cursed Ones, those now known as the Eudorian and Calanthian people, Shape-Shifters and Hybrids. All he wants now is to correct the wrongs he personally did to Tarrinaysa. But first he has to get her to remain in one place long enough for him to be able to put his desires into play.
This lovely couple -I use that term when I actually like them, at the moment I adore them, but when I start writing about then again I won’t *snicker*- has given me fits that would make a weaker person stomp and scream or rant and rave while pulling their hair out at the roots. I love them to death. I really do and want their story told to one and all. Because of them I have this series of stories that catch people’s imagination and leave them waiting for more. Or so I’ve been told, I’m not tooting my own horn I’m just relaying onto you what I’ve been told by most of those who’ve been privy to what I’ve written over the years. *grin* Now you have to understand, the ancient god and goddess are twin siblings -keeping with the tradition of inter-sibling-marriage with the deities- which has made many cringe in horror that I would even consider putting something like that in a story. However, I don’t write a romance between Tarrynaysa and Teran, but Tarrinaysa and Nickolai. That doesn’t seem to stop those who want to know more about the god and goddess screaming about incest being morally wrong. It’s the ancient souls within Tarrinaysa and Nickolai that are the siblings, not the couple themselves, just their souls. I’m not condoning it, but I did utilize it in the creation of my series. If they can’t handle it, then they don’t have to read what I am calling the Books Series -Book One: Tarrinaysa the Beginning, Book Two: Creation of a New Race, Book Three: The Birth of Nickolai and book four has no title at the moment I just call it Book Four: Modern History- in which it’s only in the beginning chapters -of Book One: Tarrinaysa the Beginning- that their relationship is brought into light. I will point out the Book Series are NOT romance, but fantasy. It’s what they say, the beginning of it all of everything. The first and most ancient creators of Earth and the events that transpired to bring about what eventually becomes Twin Flames: Soul Bound and all the others. Someone kept telling me I needed a starting point for the deities, well the Book Series is just that, their starting point. *grin*
Since my mind is now running with ideas -at the moment of course- I’m going to stop this post here. I think that’s the way I’ll do the posts about my characters, popping in two couples at a time. Maybe one time will three couples. *smile* We shall see.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Follow Up to Yesterday's Post

Good afternoon! *wave* I wanted to clarify something about yesterday's post. The reason behind my NOT adding my words to those of so many others concerning Twin Flames/Twin Souls. *smile* There are too many contradictions already. Sometimes you just have to read through what you find and decide for yourself. It's what I've had to do as well as many of my friends and family. It's not a matter of what another person says or believes, it's a matter of what you yourself believes. I guess it's like those who believe Mother Nature isn't in control of our lives.
Ummm...HELLO! *waves frantically*...excuse me...but the tornado doesn't stop at the edge of town. Nor does the hurricane change directions when it's about to make landfall. A raging forest fire doesn't care that a major city is in its path of destruction, it's gonna plow straight through without a care for the loss of life and property. That's Mother Nature for you. She's a bitch and she doesn't care what man has created. She's the one in control of what's around us humans.

But like I said, that's my belief. I'm a strange kind of person. *shrug* Which is alright, for me. That is the reason I posted the links instead of starting a debate on what's right and what's wrong. You have to decide for yourself, I can't make the choice for you. I already made mine, years ago when I was still a child. Long before the creation of personal computers and the internet. Ooooops! I just dated myself. *groan* Oh well. *sigh* I'm still Alix and that's all that matters. *chuckle*

I'm not here to call anyone a liar. I'm just here to share something dear to my heart. A piece of who I am and my creation from that. No amount of proof can change the mind of a skeptic. Which isn't what I'm trying to do. To each their own. *shrug* Would it be awesome for everyone to believe in Twin Flames/Twin Souls? Yeah, it would. For the simple fact of the unconditional acceptance and love felt. However, I know it's not possible for everyone to accept and love one another like that. As societies we are taught the opposite. Maybe not intentionally, but through events that shape our lives and thoughts. Whether it's religious beliefs or the inner city. Hell, it's even in the wilds of untamed Alaska and the farmland of the Mid-West United States. We all have our moments when it comes to the unknown. We fear it because we don't understand it. Once we comprehend it it's no longer scary. However, it's taking that step most of us refuse to take. Learnig about the unknown.

Once I have gotten through all my notes, the links and sites I've found I'll compile a list and post it here. In other words, I'll go through each of theirs and find the same traits -because for all of their talking about Twin Flames/Twin Souls NONE of the lists they have are identical. There are a few that have some that are the same and that's what I want to post here. I don't want contradictions and uncertainties. So I'll take the generals they say and generlize them even farther. Not saying they're wrong, just making it easier for others to understand. NO ONE can know exactly how another's soul relationship is going to be or turn out. For the simple fact as we are all different people we are also different souls and have different traits. *shrug* That's my belief anyway. I know people will argue that point and that's fine with me. I don't have to defend myself to them or anyone else for that matter. It's my belief and that's all that counts. I'm an individual, NOT a cookie cutter. What I believe and know to be true for me I feel in my heart as well as my soul. It's that little voice that says you're doing it wrong. They call it your conscious...Jimmy Cricket anyone?...I guess you could say it's that because what's right for you is what's deep inside.

Since I've turned this into a longer post then I originally intended I'm going to hop off the soap box now and go back to writing. It's easier with character then it is with people, at least for the most part, they don't get nasty when their belief systems are being challenged. *sigh* For that reason right there it's easier being a writer then it is an outgoing person who is chatty with everyone they come across. No wonder writers lock themselves away when they have to write. *laugh*

Have a wonderful Friday and weekend everyone!


Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Share of Articles

Instead of running on at the mouth I decided to just share some articles with you all in hopes that the writers/authors of them could explain it better then me. I am horrible when it comes to putting my thoughts out in a coherent manner for others to read and understand. That doesn't count writing a manuscript. However, that is a story revolving around two main characters and not something that is educational. *laugh* I'm told I make a good teacher, I beg to differ. *chuckle* Talking is one thing, typing and blogging is another altogether. So before I start I'd like to point out, I DID NOT WRITE THESE ARTICLES they belong to others, I am just posting their links here. You can read through them and decide for yourself if Twin Flames/Twin Souls are a real relationship.



UnEdited Excert From Twin Flames: Soul Bound

She opened her eyes as a flash of lightening lit the room. Something heavy lay across her and dark strands of hair covered her face. Brushing at them she turned her head and froze.
It hadn’t been a dream.
Trying to settle the flurry of emotions Joy attempted to slide out from under Jay and realized they were still connected. She swallowed a moan as her traitorous body responded to the sexual fissure bouncing around her nerve endings.
“Where are you going?” his voice was gravelly, as if he’d yelled for long periods of time. 
“I need to get up.” Shoving his chest with both hands, she ignored the sizzle of awareness that jarred her system. She needed to get away so she could think. “Please Jay.”
He mumbled something she couldn’t understand but shifted. The friction the movement caused jolted through her body.
“Still want me to get off you?” Jay smiled that pulse racing, lopsided grin and for a millisecond she almost reconsidered.
“Yes please.” Joy kept her gaze locked with his, refusing to back down. She needed space.
“As you wish, baby.” She felt the tremors that shook his body as he pulled away. Her eyes rolled closed as she bit back a heart wrenching cry of separation. “You okay?”
“Fine, I’m fine.” Opening her eyes she pushed into a seated position and scooted to the edge of the mattress. “Get some clothes on. We need to talk.”
“As you command, m’lady.”
Joy snorted and reached for the robe draped over the chair. Shoving her arms in the sleeves she shook her head and started toward the bathroom.
“I’ll wait here until you’re done.”
“Just get some clothes on, Jay.” She closed the bathroom door and leaned back against it.
This wasn’t happening. Jezzaray said none of her family was expected to visit until after the Fourth of July and Joy could use the cabin until then.
Well, your brother is lounging naked in the only bed here, Jezz. What now?
She should’ve known something would work against her getting the silence she required to figure out what to do with Jay and here he was lying between her thighs. Now what?
Breathing in a deep breath, she cleaned up and splashed her face with cold water thankful she had thought to connect the generator before the storm took out the electricity. She caught her reflection in the mirror, brushing her dark blonde tresses back she spotted where Jay’s teeth had scraped the side of her throat.
Now I look like a teenager with a hicky. Grabbing a hair tie she wrapped it around the long strands, securing them at her nape. Hands on her hips, she glared at the image.
Would there be an argument? Joy wasn’t in the mood to quarrel. She hadn’t gotten an opportunity to think about what she was going to do with their connection. Knowing Jay, he’d want a definite answer from her concerning them. She hadn’t come to a conclusion yet.
She knew about ‘reading’ a person had read a few herself. This was different. The type of person she was brought up to be made it hard for others to get a good ‘read’ on her. She, herself, preferred to keep people at arm’s length unless she invited them closer. Something she rarely, if ever, did.
Living her life as a human and doing what they did to learn about each other kept what she was and what she could do invisible. For generations hiding in plain sight was beat into her family. None can have knowledge of the animal in their bloodline, no witnesses. The fear bred into them from a time long ago kept her silent. It didn’t matter what was being said and accepted in the modern era, secrets were still unspoken.
Yet, Jay knew her in a way her family didn’t. He was privy to things she hadn’t told anyone, not even her best-friends. In vivid detail he recited her memories back to her, clearly.
Did he know about the secret she hid from everyone?
It was as if he was inside her mind and body. There was no separation of the two. Could he already possess the information about her genetics? That Joy was a hybrid and actually changed forms into not one animal but two?
Was it probable they were connected in every way?
Were they really one person, one entity, two halves of the same whole?
Inhaling she opened the door. The time for answers had come. It was now or never.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Ramblings at Late Nite

I am sure by now ya'll have figured out that I'm horrible at posting here. *grin* Sorry. But I thought since I was up and nothing was brewing inside my brain -concerning writing that is- I'd drop in here and possibly get rid of the crap that is clogging up my brain cells.

Real life tends to have a negative effect on my creativity *sigh* which is never a good thing for a writer slash author. You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to having that tagline or title attached to my name. That's how new it still is. *chuckle* By the time any of these posts are actually read by readers and followers hopefully I'll be better keeping a blog up. I am working on it. However, I now understand why writers/authors of old locked themselves away from the world and wrote. It's easier...sometimes. *snicker* But this is the digital age and nothing -no one- is hidden for long. If ever at all.

My Content Editor emailed me on Monday so I have a timeframe of when things will start moving forward. Still not sure how to feel about that one. I know I should be excited and jumping for joy. But it's more of a 'okay, more work to do'. Of course not in a bad way. As long as I'm moving forward I'm good -and happy- it's when things get stuck that I start slipping. *smirk* I am only human after all. And as much as many people would love to convince you otherwise, I'm not wonderwoman or superwoman. *sigh* Such is the reality of that which is me, Alix. *laugh* I have my failings and shortcomings just like the next person. Mine just tend to be well hidden. I am an oddity in this world and I don't mind in the least. *smile*

Recently I finished the second book in my Twin Flames series and started on the third. Soul Bound was supposed to the only one about Jay and Joy. However, a close friend pointed out it would be a good thing to add another book. Giving them a past and a future. Besides what there is in Soul Bound. I shook my head and refused...see where that got me? *laugh* Before Soul Bound was even contracted by MuseItUp Publishing I had already started on their second book. Could've really smacked my sister in law for that one. *chuckle* Instead I forged ahead and was determined to get it completed even as I waited for news on Soul Bound. Then a few weeks later while I was getting ready to start work on the chapter 11 of what is now being called Twin Flames: Soul Memory said sister in law mentioned again about it being a good thing to break Soul Memory into two books and leave this one with a major cliff hanger. *jaw drop* So...Soul Memory ended at the end of chapter 8 and the rest of the chapters went into what now has no real name attached to it. It of course will be Twin Flames: Soul...something or other after 'Soul' but that is still in the works. I only have 5 chapters in so it's still playing out. Maybe I'll call it Connection? Or Reconnection? Can't use ReBound because many see that and think negative. I'm sure I'll come up with something that will catch people's attention. Fingers crossed, right? *laugh* I will, I always seem to be able to do that. *smile* Now, that third one will be the final for Jay and Joy. Their past, present and future wrapped up in a nice red bow and I can move onto another set of characters that have been tormenting me since I started writing the thrid know, I REALLY need to find a name for that one. *laugh* Can't keep calling it the third one. It gets boring after a while. Nope, no names. Can't do it, not yet anyway. It has to be approved of by my own twin flame. *smile* Than I might even let them take over and post here like I did Joy. I'm nice like that.

I have also been searching through all my really, really, REALLY old manuscripts to see if I can clean any of them up enough to catch a publisher's eye. Yeah, they're that bad. *laugh* However, that hasn't stopped me before. It just means I have to work harder at making them readable. Ick! That's the scary shit. How in the world did I create a good idea and not be able to write it out the right way? *chuckle* I've learned that much over the years. So I'll just forge ahead and put them together and make them publishable. I can do that. Done it before.

Okay, since I've offically dropped every thought from my head I'm heading off to see what more trouble I can get into. *snicker* I'm good at getting into trouble. I don't even have to go looking for it these days, it finds me! *laugh* So enjoy lovey and don't worry, I'm not always this...random. Honest.


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Anonymous Male Twin Flame

My Twin Flame is a female who has lived her life in the shadows of the world. I have always known she was alive and wondered when we would cross paths. It wasn’t until my sister befriended her and talked me into reading her work did I find her. It was the most painful moment in my life. I thought I had endured agony before, but this was unlike anything I had ever known. She was older, married with children. Completely out of my reach and yet I loved and desired her above all others. But she treated me like a child, acting as if I didn’t know what I was feeling. That all it was was a crush on an older woman. Nothing more. I wanted her to feel for me what I felt for her. I desired to hear my name on her lips. Not the one everyone called me, but the name I was given at birth. I let my walls fall and made love to her through the connection we shared. Fear she would walk away taunted me but I couldn’t stop. I needed her to know and feel me as a man worthy of her love and affection. She needed to see me as a man and not a child. I was the other half of her soul, her mirror image and exact opposite. Our struggles were numerous but each night I would fully connect with her and remove the distance between us. I soothed her hurts and corrected many wrongs done to her. Her presence calmed and settled a part of me I hadn’t thought would ever be at peace with life.

I will not share my name or the female who matches me, just know she exists and I can feel every breath she takes and each tear she cries. She's so much apart of me I live because of her. I fight for her. I would do anything she asks of me including live in a life I have wanted to escape from for as long as I can remember. She's beautiful, my light in the darkness.

I found this while I was searching through the notes I've taken over the years and thought I'd share it with you all. It's an interesting view from the male perspective of his Twin Flame relationship. I'll have to follow up on this one as time goes by. Just to see where they are since it's been a while since I talked to him.


My name is Joy

Hello everyone! *wave* My name is Joy Lyons-Morgan. A character created by the innovative Alix. She gave me access to her blog here so I could just chatter on about whatever caught my fancy. *laugh* If she only knew the trouble I could cause with unlimited access like that! *snicker* Since Alix wrote my story I figure I could give you all a little bit of background on myself. Ready? *raises eye brows*

First of all, I'm not human. At least not in the sense you think and/or believe. I'm a hybrid of sorts. In part a mythological creature thought not to have ever existed. *smirk* Well, people, I exist as do many others like myself. We live among you. Safely ensconced in your communities. We're like you in many ways. Which helps us to hide out in the open. *shrug* It's easier now in modern times then when my ancestors roamed the lands. Science is a wondrous thing...well, when it works hand and hand with insisting my kin aren't real. However, that is also its draw back. How can I say I exist when science says I don't. *sigh* One of the lingering questions that are tiresome at best. Maybe I should just give you the basis of who I am and leave the tech stuff to those who have the IQ for it? *clears throat* That's something I don't have, by the way. An IQ high enough to answer questions like that. *chuckle* I'm smart, just not THAT smart. *smile* Here's my intro...remember one thing...keep your mind open. If you can think outside the box to anything is possible then all is comprehendable.

I have lived my entire life between the worlds of those living and non-existence. Straddling the lines of what is real to everyone and what's real to me. A Hybrid I learned to be ‘normal’ like everyone else. Distant family members of mine were hunted and killed as witches and were-wolves, so hiding was a way of life. Silence is my friend and open honesty my foe. Certain areas of learning were taught by grandmothers who spoke of myths and legends. Tales of bygone eras and stories of unrealistic love coveted by all and found by a select few. It was my mother with whom the struggle began and continued throughout much of my life. To have the wholeness I sought, according to her, I had to marry within the Christian church a God-fearing man and bear him children. It felt wrong to me. Everything she spoke of as being real and the right way wasn’t true for me. I felt like I was lying and pretending. I locked part of myself away from the light it needed to grow and only survived, I no longer lived life. Until I heard his voice on the other end of the phone. I had a decision to make and no one could aid me in this. Only I knew the truth and what was right for me. Even as many thought it was selfish and inconsiderate I had to follow my heart as well as my soul.

Now, I know you're asking following your heart is understandable, but your soul? *laugh* Yeah, it's not the soul most religions speak of though. This is a part of you, the deeper part of who you are underneath the skin. The piece of you that makes up who you truly are. Example: I'm stubborn in a way I will continue to fight something if I think it's wrong. I won't bow to peer pressure or to a 'fad'. I am also determined to a point I don't easily bend. Sometimes even when I'm given proof I need to do it another way, I will continue to try other ways before I finally cave and admit I'm doing it wrong. These aren't bad traits, although they can be annoying at times. *chuckle* Just ask Jay. He knows full well about both of those. I used them against him...often. Each of us know what we are deep within. Only you can find those answers, that's what I had to do for me.

So since I have left you some answered questions I'll now leave you with just one more. *grin* Do you know who your Twin Flame is? Can you feel them? If you can, you're a lot closer then many other people are right now.

I'm off to annoy Jay now. *smirk* Alix is tapping her foot waiting patiently for me to finish. *shakes head* I'm sure I'll be back on.

~Joy Lyons-Morgan


My name is Alix and I'm new to this world of blogging. *smile* Not saying I haven't ever blogged before, just admitting to not having done it on a regular basis. I'm a writer in real life as well as a twin soul. <---- we'll get more into that later on. *wink* I am contracted with MuseItUp Publishing, which I am learning is a different type of publisher and for that I am grateful. They care about writers/authors in a way most publishers don't. They are right when they say without writers/authors you do not have a business. I am pleased to say I am apart of their ever growing family. It makes me smile to know those who said I wouldn't make it can eat their words -or hats- not like I'm the type to dance around and proclaim loudly 'see, I told you so', that's not who I am. I am just a normal average somebody who happened to write a story -book it's called now- that caught someones attention. Again, I am extremely grateful for. *grin* Will it ever settle in my head that I have a contract and am an author now? If you have the answer to that you're farther along then I am. I'm still waiting for the funny little feeling in my stomach to die down and the excitement to dwindle...not that I want that to happen mind you, I'm good for the time being. *smirk*

Since this is an introduction I'd like to share more of myself with you who popped in interested in what I posted. I'm a child of the 1980's and a lover of the music from that era. Not saying I don't enjoy the tunes from the 90's or recently, just stating I'm a major fan of the bands that came into being while I was a child and teenager. Truth be told? I enjoy ALL music. Each song has their own story to tell. Some more fast paced and angry while others are soulful and touching. *sigh* Music is the soundtrack of people lives. It tells you about them in a way nothing else can. It speaks to everyone on all levels. We find friends through music and soul mates also. We party and relax to the notes of each piece. Our daily lives are there for anyone to listen to and hear, with their ears, hearts and yes, even souls. No, I'm not religious I have my own belief system which follows is right for me. *smile*

I'm not into politics or debates, nor am I into changing the world. I'd rather sit back and just enjoy what I've been given. Not saying I'm lazy, by any means, just don't want to put my opinions out there to be picked apart and cataloged. I'm a person, an individual. Boxes are for items we want to protect and hold onto, not people. There that's my views. *grin*