Sunday, December 4, 2011

Untitle Poem...About Twin Flames

Here's a poem I wrote last year. Hope you enjoy it. *grin*

A long time ago in the darkness of my mind, you dwelled
A bright light to guard me from the nightmares
A figment to some, non-existence to others, my soul
You were my protector, my love, my other half

Even when I locked you away, in a box you did not stay
Your refusal to be bound and hid away showed me your love
A startled moment when you were there,
My knight to halt my hand and stay my motions
You wrapped me in your arms and whispered you lived

To search for you I did, but nothing I found
Alone in the world I traveled, half a heart and soul
Only surviving was I doing, living I was not

Murmurs of something that could be, haunted me
Pressing the limits of my mortality, I did to end the pain
Yet you still held and protected me
For death would not even have me

I created a character of you, to save my sanity
But still you haunted my dreams
You were not real in the world I lived, just in my mind
To stave off the demons of terrors
The child I was imagined you to fight my battles
Because I was tired

My protector and comforter, but real you were not
Heart sick and my soul ached,
I moved through this life I called mine, but you weren’t there
A dual life I led, straddling two worlds, I dwelled
Was I losing my mind? Because I could feel you, yet you weren’t there
Never in the light of day did you kiss me, only in the dark
Am I going crazy? Because I knew you, yet I couldn’t find you

I would sleep and find you there, hear your voice, feel your touch, I was whole
But I would awake to an emptiness I was used too, friends with and you were gone

Again I locked you away, I had to, to live, to move forward
Again you rebelled, your freedom you demanded
My compliance, you coaxed, I gave you my dreams and nights to roam
And to claim me as yours
But my days were lonely, filled with a sadness I was accustomed to
My burden, my punishment

Songs from my favorite band tormented me,
But I wed another, this was my life
A connection so profound I knew it was real,
But fear kept me locked in a mold
Do what was right and give everyone my all,
But ignore what I wanted and needed to survive
The terror ran deep, a sense of mourning, I wished to die
But again death laughed in my face
This was my hell, my punishment for transgressions I do not recall,

I accept as my due
For I am not worthy to have you
You are only given what the gods know you can handle
Yet the agony tears through me, but release is not in the making for me
Because I denied you, your claiming of me
This is my life, my hell, my due

I let you comfort me when I was beaten and broken but only for a minute
I deserved the pain, I wanted to drown out the agony of being empty,
Of not being accepted
Once again Lady Death laughed at my pleas
Are you staying her hand, my love?
Do you enjoy my suffering?
Do you wish for more?

Again I forged ahead, rebuilding myself and turning colder
I knew you lived, because I could feel your life force, but I didn’t care
Beaten into submission, forced to redefine myself,
I ignored you, enraged I was now
You did not exist! I was no longer searching for you,
Loneliness was in my soul
A companion no one could take away, for they feared me
And I didn’t mind

Years passed by, my sadness deep in my bones
No smile lit my eyes, only graced my lips
I was an actress, a pretender that was perfect
Love my children, I did, gave my life for them, I did,
A promise made not to be broken
I traded my life and happiness for theirs
The innocents in my quest for my soul

Again you broke the confines I locked around you
Tormenting me day and night, living dreams
You upped the ante and gave me no time to re-group and rebuild my walls
The assault you conducted tore at my mind and emotions,
I had finally lost touch with reality

The future was where you existed, another life we would have together,
It eased the pain
I wasn’t crazy, just feeling a connection to my next life
That was acceptable

Then a single conversation set into motion events that caress me now
I feel you and know you, you live, are real in this life
The emptiness is gone as is the sadness
A complete wholeness fills the once emptiness I lived with all my life

Now I am the one in confines,
For the choices I made and sacrifices I allowed
I fight daily what my mind says and my soul demands
Neither are happy
But I will straddle the two as long as you allow

I tried to keep you away, knowing the pain I would inflict,
But you did not listen or hear
Alpha is who you are, exactly the way I saw you,
The way I knew you to be
Not with others, only with me
Because I am yours

You don’t let me step back and shut you out
You won’t let me protect you, as you protect me
You take a beating and let me live
Am I really worth the pain and agony you feel?

I cannot stop who I have been forever
But you laugh and accept the fight I put up
Even the unplanned ones
You stand there, my rock, my hunter, my alpha, my soul
Stepping back, you refuse,
No matter how hard I push, you stay in front of me
My shield, my heart, my lover, my other half
You promise not to let me fall,
That you will catch me and hold me tight
I can hear your heart pound against my ear,
You do live, just like you whispered
I am whole now and accepted unconditionally

This emotion so profound ‘love’ just does not fit
Because the feeling is so much more
You are a part of me, you are me
There is no me without you and you without me
We are one in the same
We are one

I am yours and you are mine
Only the physical branding is left
Years ago I married my soul, it was right
I will hold you tight and fight to keep you
Even as I battle myself to set you free

We are a matched pair, you and I,
The joker and his lady
That is us

It won’t be easy, the tears and pain will be there
But for as long as I breathe in this life I belong to you,
Body, heart and soul

You are my true mate, soul mate, life mate
Matched by the gods, divinely united
Forever….
Into eternity and beyond….
Twin Flames…Twin Souls…

2 comments:

  1. hotcha12 - Thank you. *smile* I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete